


gay groupchat

by Purplethorn



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Coran Coran The Gorgeous Man, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, I will definitely change the title when i can think of a better one, M/M, Masturbation talked about?, Sex mentioned, They're all lgbtq, Trans Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Trans Keith (Voltron), a lil bit of shatt, but thats not super important to it, coran will be mentioned at some point, demigirl Pidge, group chat au, idk just be aware theres no actual sex, its not very klance but someday, they all like harry potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2018-09-23 13:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 14,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9659264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplethorn/pseuds/Purplethorn
Summary: The gang meets online and has a LGBTQ Harry Potter fans groupchat





	1. Chapter 1

Lance was scrolling through his dash when he saw it, his destiny.

 

_ Ravenclawprincess: Hi everyone! Allura here. I’ve decided to make a group chat for LGBTQ fans of Harry Potter. I’ve wanted to connect with people, especially after dealing with the loss of my father. All you need to do is like this post, follow me, and fill out the survey I linked below. I’m not sure how this will work out but I’m very excited to meet new people. _

 

Lance knew this was something he had to do. Ever since he left Cuba for the exchange program he had been feeling very lonely. Sure, the U.S. was pretty cool and he had friends, it was just that the tiny Arizona town he got put in wasn’t very friendly to LGBTQ people. Also, most kids at his school hadn’t read Harry Potter or anything else that wasn’t requred for a class. 

 

The cuban teen reblogged the post, followed the op and filled out the survey. Hopefully he would be picked for the chat.

  
  
  


About 3 weeks had passed since Lance first saw the post and in that time he’d reread the whole Harry Potter series, gotten a black eye from a homophobic asshole that didn’t understand what bisexual was, and got a D on an English paper. He needed a win. So when he opened tumblr and saw a message from ravenclawprincess, his heart jumped out of his chest. 

 

_ Hi Lance! My name is Allura. A few weeks ago I posted about starting up a group chat for LGBTQ Harry Potter fans. You seemed very enthusiastic about participating so I chose you along with four others. Here’s a link to the server. I’m very excited to become your friend. _

 

Lance quickly added the server,  **HarryPotterLGBTQ.** He read the names of the other members.  _ Hunky, enragedhomosexual, allurathegreat, pidgeeeeeee, shiro.  _

 

 **Allurathegreat:** Hi everyone! Let’s start with our names and pronouns. I’m Allura and I use She/her pronouns

 

**Hunky:** Hi I’m Hunk. I use He/Him 

 

**Shiro:** im shiro i use he him his

 

**Engragedhomosexual:** im keith i use he him his pronouns

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** im katie but some people call me pidge. I use she/her or they/them pronouns. Depends on how i feel i guess

 

**Lanceoff:** Im Lance i use he him pronouns

 

**Allurathegreat:** Awesome! Could we all maybe say how we fit into the LGBTQ community and our Hogwarts house? I think that would help us understand each other more.

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** sure. im aroace and a trans demigirl. and ravenclaw

 

**Allurathegreat:** Awesome! I’m also aro (high five), pansexual and a Ravenclaw

 

**Hunky:** I’m asexual and not really sure about what genders I’m attracted to yet. I’m a cis dude and a total hufflepuff

 

**Shiro:** im pansexual/romantic and a a cis guy. I lean mostly toward gryffindor altho i can fit into any house really

 

**Lanceoff:** Im bi and pretty griffindor or ravnclae

 

**Lanceoff:** *gryffindor

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** ur just gonna ignore the horrible spelling of ravenclaw?

 

**Lanceoff:** No one named keith can judge me

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** I chose the name keith. Pls dont b mean abt it

 

**Lanceoff:** Oh jeez im really sorry. I dont wanna judge anyoen for thir gender stuff or choices

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** nbd. 

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** im a gay trans dude and slytherin

 

**Hunky:** Yay for conflict resolution!

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** yay

 

**Allurathegreat:** So how are you all?

 

**Lanceoff:** im ok. This is a lot of english for me tho

 

**Shiro:** where are you from?

 

**Lanceoff:** Cuba. But im in arizona rn in an exchange program

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** ayyyyye i live in the us too

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** accept i live in wisconsin

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** where everyne tells me im too young to know im a girl

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** thats really tough

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** i had the same experience in my home town but now im in vancouver and ppl r p cool w me

 

**Pidgeeeeee:** im so ready for college where ill just be a girl to everyone

 

**Shiro:** people are mostly cool in college. Ive had a few people be dicks, but mostly theyre nice

 

**Shiro:** try to go to a big city

 

**Hunky:** Omg I live in Salt Lake city and it’s super great on one hand, but also soooooo many strict religious peeps that don’t believe in asexuality. 

 

**Allura:** Where is Salt Lake City? I don’t know U.S. geography too well.

 

**Hunky:** Utah. It’s in the west sorta.

 

**Lanceoff:** hey thats pretty clsoe to Arizona!

 

**Hunky:** And with that, a friendship formed over the vast awfulness of the desert.

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** xD


	2. Love 4 pidge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more harry potter goofs, Keith gets asked out???? and let pidge be happy 2k17

  
  


**Lanceoff:** You knwo what bugs me?

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** wut

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** enlighten me

 

**Lanceoff:** aunt petunia was blonde. MOVIE AUNT PETINIA WAS NOT

 

**Shiro:** these are the real problems

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** boi

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** why do you care sm

 

**Lanceoff:** idk im reading the first booka nd its bugging me

 

**Allurathegreat:** How terrible that a movie would get the hair color wrong! I wonder if there are other trivial things like this that the movies got wrong too?

 

**Hunky:** Oh!!!!!! Good one Allura!!!!!!

 

**Lanceoff:** yer gunna make me cri

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** anyways any1 wanna b excited 4 me?

 

**Hunky:** Of course!

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** a hot boy asked me out 2day

 

**Shiro:** thats great keith! whos the lucky boy?

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** his name is mateo and hes from my work

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** where do you work?

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** a starbucks

 

**Lanceoff:** Basic as hell

 

**Shiro:** i worked at a starbucks while I was a freshman

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** its a blast……… all those white ppl…… and such

 

**Lanceoff:** Ugh fuck white people

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** yeah!

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** i say even tho im white…..

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** right after i got asked out this soccer mom orderd 3 frappacinos and yelled at me when i spelled her kids names wrong

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** im sorry i wouldnt have guess “bralynne” or “thaylee”

 

**Hunky:** Vomits at the fact those names exist

 

**Shiro:** how do i delete her existence

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** ugh i wish i knew

 

**Allurathegreat:** You all should be sleeping! It’s late!

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** its like 6 for me

 

**Shiro:** 5 for me

 

**Allurathegreat:** Ah yes. Timezones

 

**Hunky:** What time is it where you are Allura?

 

**Allurathegreat:** ………

 

**Allurathegreat:** 1

 

**Shiro:** in the morning?????

 

**Hunky:** get some sleep gurl!

 

**Allurathegreat:** Sleep? I’ve never heard of her…

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** meme it up allura

 

**Shiro:** im with a bunch of toddlers

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** excuse you????? Im 17

 

**Lanceoff:** me too!

 

**Hunky:** Oh to be a child…..

 

**Hunky:** I haven’t been 17 for a whole month.

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** i turn 18 in about a month

 

**Lanceoff:** am i the yougest one?

 

**Lanceoff:** cries in spanish

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** oh god youre all old

 

**Shiro:** how old are you katie?

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** im 14

 

**Lanceoff:** oh sheet what???!!!

 

**Lanceoff:** take thwt keith im not youngets

 

**Enragehomosexual:** it wasnt a competetion

 

**Lanceoff:** it is if i want it to be

 

**Shiro:** again…. stuck with toddlers

 

**Hunky:** How old are you Shiro?

 

**Shiro:** im 24

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** you could be my dad

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** actually you could be my brother. Hes 23

 

**Shiro:** is he cute?

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** ew

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** hes my brother

 

**Shiro:** sorry sorry

 

**Shiro:** i just wnat a nice cute person in my life

 

**Lanceoff:** dont we all

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** i want a wand and some time in the fuckin hogwarts library

 

**Lanceoff:** dont we all

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** i want a freakin firebolt

 

**Lanceoff:** dont we all

 

**Hunky:** Lance are you capable of saying anything else?

 

**Lanceoff:** dont we all

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** u know wut ship is my fav

 

**Hunky:** what

 

**Lanceoff:** What

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** seamus and dean

 

**Lanceoff:** 10/10 good shit

 

**Allurathegreat:** Also consider: Pavati and Lavender

 

**Hunky:** GOOD SHIT

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** i have a better one

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** the entire series and a good epilogue

 

**Allurathegreat:** Oh shit!!!!!

 

**Shiro:** jk Rowling got GOT

  
  
  


 

***

 

  
  


**Pidgeeeeeee:** hey guys

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** yes

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** im sorta sad

 

**Hunky:** How do I help????

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** idk 

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** i justsometimes feel like im some silly boy who wants to be something hes not and will die alone

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** like i dont deserve people 

 

**Shiro:** katie you are a wonderful demigirl

 

**Lanceoff:** Katie Kat! You don't need anyone to make you happy. You have friends and your super smart and aweome 

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** ur smarter than me

 

**Allurathegreat:** Katie you are a delight and are allowed to move in with me any time

 

**Hunky:** Do your parents accept your gender identity?

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** yeah they just slip up a little

 

**Hunky:** Ok that's good. Maybe ask your irl friends for some love?

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** i dont have irl friends really

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** just my brother whos at college

 

**Allurathegreat:** Treat yourself! Go out and buy a cute bra and underwear! Get some makeup if you wear it!

 

**Lanceoff:** My host family says I can't get a bus ticket to Wisconsin right now

 

**Lanceoff:** They told me to wait for the end of the quarter 

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** omg dont do anything for me

 

**Lanceoff:** PETITION TO VISIT KATIE IN WISCONSIN AND BUY HER SOME LOVELY MAKEUP AND PRETTY STUFF AND CAKE AND ICECREAM AND ANGTHING SHE NEEDS BECAUSE WE ALL LOVE KATIE AND SHES AMAZING

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** im in

 

**Hunky:** Me too! I'll bring blankets and tea! <3

 

**Shiro:** my family is in minnesota so I could totally visit you probably 

 

**Pidgeeeeeee:** guys im gonna cry

 

**Pidgeeeeeee uploaded imcry.jpg**

 

**Shiro:** awwww katie 

 

**Lanceoff:** You're so cute??? Oh my hell???!

 

_ Allurathegreat changed pidgeeeeeee’s nickname to lil cutie _

 

_ Lil cutie changed nickname to cute but will kill _

 

**Hunky:** awwww

  
**Cute but will kill:** boi try me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm totally not projecting my own feelings and stuff on them :))))))
> 
> Thank you all so much for the comments! They motive me to write more and put it out there. I'm not sure if this will have a schedule at all. Probably not


	3. Valentines day is stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More goofs, pining lance

As time had gone on with the chat, Lance became very close with Hunk. The two even started voice calling and talking a few times a week. 

 

“Ugh can you believe Keith right now?” Lance asked. Keith was showing pictures of his new boyfriend Mateo off to the chat. 

 

“Sounds like someone is a little jealous” Hunk replied. 

 

Lance scoffed. “As if! His stupid mullet and face are not things I care about.”

 

“Ok buddy. But I remember you spitting out your drink when Keith first showed us his face.”

 

The Cuban teen groaned. “Why am I so bi? Why am I attracted to the unavailable?”

 

Hunk smirked. “Life is hard Lance.”

  
  
  
  


**Allurathegreat:** Keith we get that you have a cute boyfriend but some of us hate romance

 

**Cute but will kill:** ^^

 

**Lanceoff:** yeah Keith! Some peopl don't need need your cute face all over their clmputer 

 

**Shiro:** cute?

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** cute?

 

**Lanceoff:** gotta blast

 

**Hunky:** Omg Lance is dying right now. He's just calling himself stupid and Keith's mullet stupid. 

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** u luv this mullet

 

**Shiro:** im stuck with a bunch of gay toddlers

 

**Cute but will kill:** and aroace

 

**Shiro:** katie youre right

 

**Allurathegreat:** I'm 22! Not a toddler at all. 

 

**Shiro:** your 22?

 

**Shiro:** i thought everyone was a child

 

**Allurathegreat:** I'm an adult! I'm in unit right now

 

**Hunky:** Unit

 

**Cute but will kill:** unit

 

**Allurathegreat:** Yes?

 

**Allurathegreat:** In Cambridge?

 

**Allurathegreat:** Oh shit. You meant I made a typo.

 

**Allurathegreat:** *uni

 

**Cute but will kill:** omg youre actually like British 

 

**Lanceoff:** omg are your teeth bad or something

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** wtf lance y

 

**Allurathegreat:** I don't even know how to respond 

 

**Allurathegreat uploaded imhot.jpg**

 

**Lanceoff:** oh shit!!!!!

 

**Lanceoff:** You're so beautiful what?????

 

**Hunky:** Wow! How do you get your hair so white?

 

**Allurathegreat:** Lots of hair dye. 

 

**Allurathegreat:** My father used to hate the smell so much. 

 

**Shiro:** nose: bled

 

**Shiro:** eyes: blinded

 

**Shiro:** heart: stabbed

 

**Shiro:** _ i am forcibly removed from the group chat _

 

**Cute but will kill:** way to make it weird dad

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** ya dad

 

**Hunky:** dad

 

**Shiro:** please don't call me dad

 

_ Allurathegreat changed shiro’s nickname to weird dad _

 

**Weird dad:** why

 

**Weird dad:** ive been betrayed 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Cute but will kill:** so all of you have jobs?

 

**Allurathegreat:** Yeah. I nanny these 4 kids

 

**Shiro:** im a bartender

 

**Hunky:** Omg those jobs sound hard

 

**Hunky:** I work at my moms’ restaurant 

 

**Lanceoff:** I can't get a job here bc of stupid exchange student rules

 

**Lanceoff:** But I wish I could

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** and I work at Starbucks 

 

**Shiro:** youre too young to get a job right pidge?

 

**Cute but will kill:** i don't have an income…….. to my parents knowledge 

 

**Hunky:** Uhhhh what does that mean?

 

**Lanceoff:** KATIE PIDGEOTTO EXPLAIN YOURSELF THIS INSTAMT

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** omg wut did u call them

 

**Lanceoff:** I'm assuming that's their last name

 

**Cute but will kill:** that's not my name!!!!!

 

**Cute but will kill:** and I sorta have a job….

 

**Cute but will kill:** you know how companies will pay people to hack into their stuff so they can find security breaches

 

**Weird dad:** i dont like where this is going

 

**Cute but will kill:** i do that

 

**Hunky:** WHAT?????

 

**Lanceoff:** PIDGE JS A GENIUS

 

**Weird dad:** omg what

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Ok but where's the money go? 

 

**Cute but will kill:** uhhhhhhh

 

**Weird dad:** PIDGE????

 

**Cute but will kill:** i have a secret bank account

 

**Cute but will kill:** im saving up for college and travel stuff

 

**Lanceoff:** Wow. That's really smart

 

**Cute but will kill:** i know :D

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** in 10 yrs well all be working 4 pidge or murdered by them

 

**Cute but will kill:** :D

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Lanceoff:** If u all went to hogwarts what animal would u being?

 

**Allurathegreat:** Cat!!!!!!!!!

 

**Hunky:** Probably a toad. I relate to those lil dudes

 

**Lanceoff:** Why?

 

**Hunky:** They're tubby and cute in an ugly way

 

**Lanceoff:** HUNK BUDDY!!!! YOURE NOT UGLY AT ALL!!!!

 

**Hunky:** Thanks. But not really

 

**Allurathegreat:** Hunk you are beautiful! 

 

**Cute but will kill:** owl

 

**Cute but will kill:** oh yikes hunk

 

**Cute but will kill:** hunk youre very attractive?

 

**Lanceoff:** wtf pidge

 

**Cute but will kill:** sorry people arent my strong suit

 

**Hunky:** It's ok guys. Really

 

**Lanceoff:** Ok bus tickets to Utah aren't v expensive 

 

**Allurathegreat:** Let's all go to this giant salty lake! 

 

**Hunky:** Honestly you don't need to make a big deal out of this

 

**Lanceoff:** IM GONG TO UTAH TO GIVE MY BEAUTIFUL HOT SEXY MAMA OF A FRIEND A HUG

 

**Hunky:** Please don't call me sexy. That was sorta weird

 

**Lanceoff:** Oh sorry

 

**Hunky:** That did make me smile though

 

**Hunky uploaded happyhunk.jpg**

 

**Allurathegreat:** THIS CURED MY DEPRESSION

 

**Lanceoff:** MY CROPS ARE THRIVING

 

**Allurathegreat:** This is my new lock screen 

 

**Lanceoff:** Same

 

**Allurathegreat:** HUNK YOURE AMAZING AND WE LOVE YOU

 

**Hunky:** Thanks guys

 

**Hunky:** <3

  
  
  


***

  
  


**Allurathegreat:** Can we all agree on something?

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** wut

 

**Allurathegreat:** Valentines day is the worst

 

**Cute but will kill:** ^^

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** its so str8

 

**Hunky:** I’m lowkey a hopeless romantic

 

**Lanceoff:** Same……..

 

**Cute but will kill:** _ vomits _

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** ok same sorta tho

 

**Enragedhomosexual:** like mateo asked me on a date for v day and  im highkey super excited

 

**Hunky:** Awwwwwww

 

**Cute but will kill:** _ vomiting increases _

 

**Allurathegreat:** Pidge I’m gonna share that bucket with you ok?

 

**Cute but will kill** : sounds good

 

**Hunky:**  Keith what are you planning for the date?

 

**Enragedhomosexual:**  i think im were gonna watch a cute movie and cuddle

 

**Hunky:** Awwwwwwwwww

 

**Allurathegreat:** >:(((((((

  
  
  


**Lanceoff to Hunky**

 

**Lanceoff:** I wish keith were my bf so we could cuddle and I coudl kiss his adorable face

 

**Hunky:** AWWWWWW

 

**Hunky:** Tell him that!

 

**Lanceoff:** NO

 

**Lanceoff:** He has a bf and he prob doesn’t even really like me or anhinga 

 

**Hunky:** Lance you are a very kind and lovely person

 

**Hunky:** I bet Keith likes you

  
**Lanceoff:** ://///////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this is the end of my 3 day in a row streak. After this I'll post more spread out. 
> 
> Your comments make me so happy and are why the chapters are getting longer. Thank you all so much for the support!


	4. sad keith...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Am I sorry? Absolutely not

_ Enragedhomosexual changed nick name to Depressedgay _

 

**Lanceoff:** Keith whats worng?

 

**Hunky:** Omg! Keith I’m gonna find some warm tea and a blanket and run to Vancouver!

 

**Allurathegreat:** Keith? Do you wanna talk? It can help sometimes.

 

**Depressedgay:** ok

 

**Depressedgay:** so i told mateo that im trans and he said

 

**Depressedgay:** sorry i only like real boys

 

**Hunky:** That’s really fucked up! You are a real guy. You are a manly gay and you deserve someone better.

 

**Depressedgay:** thanks hunk

 

**Depressedgay:** im still sad

 

**Lanceoff:** Ok. im gonna pick up hunk and pidge

 

**Lanceoff:** were gonna grab some blankets and tea and swords!!!!!!!   
  


**Lanceoff:** then we will finihs that asshole off!!!!!!!

 

**Lanceoff:** No one gets away with this!!!!!

 

**Cute but will kill:** yes! i wanna fight all the assholes with my tiny trans fists of fury

 

**Allurathegreat:** I will join you. Transphobic assholes have no place in your life.

 

**Allurathegreat:** I also am trained in mixed martial arts.

 

**Lanceoff:** Omg youre a deadly goddess??????????

 

_ Allurathegreat changed nickname to Deadly Goddess _

 

**Weird dad:** what did i miss

 

**Weird dad:** oh

 

**Weird dad:** 1\. screw that boy keith. there are a million other people in the world who are supportive of you. including all of us

 

**Weird dad:** 2\. i was in the military so i could have my college paid for and can beat the shit out of him

 

**Depressedgay:** thnx yall

 

**Depressedgay:** ur all so nice 2 me

 

**Lanceoff:** you deserve it keith

 

**Hunky:** <3 <3 <3

 

**Depressedgay:** <3

  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  


**Deadly Goddess:** Everyone! Look at my cat!!!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** sparkles.jpg

 

**Hunky:** Oh my gosh so cute!!!!!

 

**Hunky:** I wanna give it lil pets and tummy rubs

 

**Deadly Goddess:** He's my sweetie :D

 

**Hunky:** Tell sparkles I say “who's a good boy?”

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Done!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Where is everyone?

 

**Hunky:** Sleeping?

 

**Hunky:** It's 5am for me

 

**Deadly Goddess:** HUNK WHY ARE YOU AWAKE YOU NEED SLEEP!!!!!!

 

**Hunky:** I have the kind of insomnia where you can't stay asleep

 

**Hunky:** So I wake up a bunch during the night

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Oh I see

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Maybe you should try sleeping again?

 

**Hunky:** It's ok. I have school in 3 hours anyway

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Hmmm ok

 

**Deadly Goddess:** If you're up wanna see more Sparkles?

 

**Hunky:** OF COURSE

 

**Deadly Goddess uploaded hesinacup.jpg**

 

**Deadly Goddess uploaded sleepbabe.jpg**

 

**Deadly Goddess uploaded killcoran.jpg**

 

**Hunky:** Who's that guy messing with Sparkles?

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Haha that's Coran. He's my godfather

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Sparkles is not a fan of him

 

**Hunky:** Clearly

 

**Hunky:** His moustache is very impressive

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Coran Coran the gorgeous man

 

**Hunky:** ?

  
  
  


***

  
  


**Lanceoff:** Ok. One question. Alignments?

 

**Depressedgay:** chaotic good

 

**Weird dad:** lawful good

 

**Cute but will kill:** omg boring

 

**Cute but will kill:** im chaotic neutral

 

**Lanceoff:** Omg pidge is gonna kill us all

 

**Cute but will kill:** >:)))))

 

**Lanceoff:** I'm pretty neutral good

 

**Hunky:** Same. Although I'm sorta leaning true neutral

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I'm neutral good as well

 

**Depressedgay:** pidge were the only cool ones

 

**Cute but will kill:** ugh ik 

 

**Cute but will kill:** have any of you ever played dnd?

 

**Hunky:** No it sounds fun though

 

**Cute but will kill:** ITS SO FUN

 

**Cute but will kil:** my brother used to let me play when he was in high school

 

**Cute but will kill:** i was like 9 but still had fun

 

**Shiro:** omg your brothers a nerd

 

**Cute but will kill:** I knowwwwwww he's studying stupid bacteria stuff right now???? how boring 

 

**Cute but will kill:** omg wait

 

**Hunky:** ?

 

**Cute but will kill:** what if I set up a dnd server for us and we all played together

 

**Cute but will kill:** i could dm

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I know nothing about this game

 

**Shiro:** me neither

 

**Hunky:** It sounds fun!

 

**Depressedgay:** as fun as it sounds school is super demanding rn

 

**Lanceoff:** yeah for me too

 

**Cute but will kill:** this summer maybe?

 

**Shiro:** sure

 

**Hunky:** That would be so fun! I'd wanna be a paladin!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Omg you're all nerds

  
  
  


***

  
  


**Lanceoff:** LEt’s play a game!!!!!!

 

**Hunky:** What game?

 

**Lanceoff:** Drag, carry, ditch

 

**Weird dad:** what?

 

**Cute but will kill:** omg i love this one

 

**Cute but will kill:** its the no romo or sex version of kill marry do

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Ok so what do we do?

 

**Lanceoff:** Ok! So we put out three names and then if you were in a burning buiding who would you carry out, who would you drag out, who would you ditch?

 

**Weird dad:** omg brutal

 

**Lanceoff:** Ok Hermione, Ron and Harry

 

**Cute but will kill:** hah easy

 

**Cute but will kill:** carry ron

 

**Cute but will kill:** drag hermione

 

**Cute but will kill:** ditch harry

 

**Weird dad:** OMG PIDGE

 

**Hunky:** Savage

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Would anyone change anything tho?

 

**Hunky:** …. True

 

**Cute but will kill:** lance: hunk, me, keith

 

**Lanceoff:** Why me????????

 

**Lanceoff:** OK I guess carry hunk, drag Keith, and leave your ass behind pudge

 

**Hunky:** Awwwww Lance I’d carry you too!

 

**Lanceoff:** <3

 

**Cute but will kill:** ruuuudeeeeee

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Hunk: Shiro, Pidge, and I

 

**Hunky:** Nooooooooooo

 

**Hunky:** That’s too hard

 

**Weird dad:** its ok you can let me die

 

**Cute but will kill:** no! I wanna die

 

**Hunky:** I wouldn’t let any of you die! I’ll carry you all!

 

**Lanceoff:** That’s not how it works buddy

 

**Hunky:** I’m pretty strong

 

**Weird dad:** That’s probably like 400 plus pounds

 

**Hunky:** Like I said, I’m pretty strong

 

**Lanceoff:** Holy shit how strong????????

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Omg Hunk

 

**Hunky:** I lift

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I wanna be in a sandwich between you and Shiro

 

**Lanceoff:** 0_0

 

**Deadly Goddess:** A CUDDLE SANDWICH I MEANT CUDDLES NOTHING SEXUAL IM SO SORRY THAT MADE THIS WEIRD 

 

**Cute but will kill:** its ok gods make mistakes

 

**Weird dad:** idk how to move on from that

 

**Hunky:** …….. 

 

**Hunky:** I’d love a good cuddle sandwich tho

 

**Lanceoff:** ^^

 

**Deadly Goddess:** :’’(((((

 

**Deadly Goddess:** How do I delete the Atlantic ocean?

 

**Cute but will kill:**  *cries

 

**Cute but will kill:** i wish i knew

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Lanceoff to Depressedgay**

 

**Lanceoff:** Hey I know you had a tough time a couple days ago

 

**Lanceoff:** Are you feeling better?

 

**Depressedgay:** ya thnx for asking

 

**Depressedgay:** i just wish ppl irl were as nice as u all

 

**Lanceoff:** Me too

 

**Depressedgay:** this might b the 2 am talking but i really love u all

 

**Lanceoff:** We love you too Keith 

 

**Lanceoff:** And I actually do like your name

 

**Depressedgay:** _ blushes _

 

**Lanceoff:** O_o

 

_ Depressedgay changed nickname to very gay _

  
  
  
Lance looked up from his phone and sighed. How could he get feelings for someone so completely unavailable?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :DDDDDDDDDDD
> 
> Lmao it was really hard not to post this yesterday. Everytime I saw a comment I wanted to just publish everything that I've written. I really love writing this and you all make me so happy with the comments. I'm super excited for the next chapter. It's my favorite so far


	5. yay for shiro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good for Shiro!

**Weird dad:** ok im so happy rn

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Ooooo do tell!

 

**Weird dad:** so there was this cute boy reading the prisoner of azkaban at the bar i work at

 

**Weird dad:** keep in mind its 2 in the afternoon

 

**Weird dad:** and he giggles at a part???? and its so cute?????

 

**Hunky:** This is very cute so far

 

**Weird dad:** so i ask him what he wants and without looking up he says 3 shots of jack

 

**Weird dad:** so i get them for him and he drinks them all immediately 

 

**Lanceoff:** He gonna die

 

**Weird dad:** and i ask him if hes ok

 

**Weird dad:** and he tells me he just got laid off from the research firm hes at

 

**Weird dad:** and when he needs comfort he reads the prisoner of azkaban and gets drunk and tries to get laid 

 

**Very gay:** goals

 

**Lanceoff:** ^^

 

**Weird dad:** so i ask if i can help in anyway

 

**Weird dad:** AND HE SAYS SURE WANNA HAVE SEX?

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I JUST SPIT OUT MY DRINK HOLY SHIT

 

**Very gay:** plot twist lmao

 

**Weird dad:** so after my shift ends we're gonna do that????????

 

**Weird dad:** hes so cute he keeps smiling at certain parts and omg

 

**Hunky:** Are you sure sex is the right way to do this? Maybe ask him out

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Sex first. Questions later. 

 

**Lanceoff:** Idk I'm with hunk

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Betrayed

 

**Very gay:** maybe see if he wants more than just sex b4

 

**Weird dad:** yeah i should prob ask if hes a serial killer or something 

 

**Weird dad:** ill keep you updated

 

**Hunky:** Sex is weird

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Romance is weird

 

**Very gay:** girls r weird

 

**Lanceoff:** …… 

 

**Lanceoff:** Tfw you love all those things

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Lance you're a baby! You've had sex?

 

**Lanceoff:** Uhhhhhh

 

**Lanceoff:** Sorta?

 

**Hunky:** If we're talking about sex I'll just leave lmao

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Ok then bye Hunk

 

**Lanceoff:** Sorry buddy

 

**Lanceoff:** So yeah I had a couple girlfriends in Cuba 

 

**Lanceoff:** And I sorta dated a guy but he was p homophobic and so he'd just do me and say he was pretending I was a girl

 

**Lanceoff:** That's kinda why I came to school in the us

 

**Very gay:** fuck him

 

**Very gay:** sex should b awesome and fun 

 

**Deadly Goddess:** People like that are awful. You didn't deserve that relationship

 

**Lanceoff:** Thanks

 

**Lanceoff:** I know that now

 

**Very gay:** i wish ppl were less stupid

 

**Very gay:** then i could have sex or wutever 

 

**Lanceoff:** Keith…..

 

**Lanceoff:** The world is your oyster

 

**Lanceoff:** I will help you find those sexy pearls

 

**Very gay:** i dont think ur using that phrase correctly 

 

**Lanceoff:** >:(

 

**Very gay:** >:((

 

**Lanceoff:** >:(((

 

**Very gay:** >:((((

 

**Lanceoff:** >:(((((

 

**Very gay:** >:((((((

 

**Lanceoff:** >:(((((((

 

**Weird dad:** ok im back

 

**Weird dad:** so his name is matt, he works in micro organism stuff or something? i didnt understand him that well because he's sorta not sober so i think sex is a no

 

**Weird dad:** AND HES A REALLY GOOD KISSER

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Go dad!!!

 

**Lanceoff:** Wow he sounds great!

 

**Very gay:** congrats dad

 

**Weird dad:** thanks

 

**Weird dad:** were gonna get some food now im so excited

 

**Hunky:** What kind of food????

 

**Weird dad:** thai?

 

**Hunky:** Mmmmmmmmm

 

**Cute but will kill:** holy shit what did i miss

 

**Cute but will kill:** to read or not to read

 

**Hunky:** They talked about sex for a bit so idk if you'll wanna read it

 

**Cute but will kill:** yikes no thanks

 

**Deadly Goddess:** In summary: Shiro got a cute date and he's a bartender

 

**Cute but will kill:** oh cool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wonder who this mysterious matt dude is........
> 
> I know this one is a little short but I think it's best on its own like this
> 
> Thanks so much for all the comments! I've had a rough couple days and they cheer me up


	6. klance to the max

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coran steals Allura's phone and omg ????? klance

**Deadly Goddess:** hello frinds it is i allura

 

**Deadly Goddess:** im so pretty and here is me when i let the kids i nanny do my hair

 

**Deadly Goddess uploaded poofyhair.jpg**

 

**Weird dad:** ?????

 

**Lanceoff:** THIS IS AMAZING

 

**Deadly Goddess:** and my uncle coran is amazing and so ccol and hip and youngfdmv

 

**Weird dad:** ????????????????

 

**Hunky:** Omg that was totally Coran

 

**Very gay:** who

 

**Hunky:** Her god father. He’s got a cool moustache. And a bad way with cats

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I took care of him

 

**Weird dad:** ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

**Hunky:** DONT KILL CORAN CORAN THE GORGEOUS MAN

 

**Very gay:** wtf is going on

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Ok so my godfather Coran is an arse who just wants attention

 

**Deadly Goddess:** He stole my phone while I was in the bathroom because I was texting too much apparently

 

**Deadly Goddess:** He’s jealous

 

**Hunky:** Tell Coran I appreciate him

 

**Deadly Goddess:** And feed his ego? No thanks

 

**Weird dad:** ok but what did you do to him?

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I called over Sparkles and he pounced on Coran lmao

 

**Cute but will kill:** omg this is why you only get dogs

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Excuse me????????

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I’m offended Pidge I thought we were together on this

 

**Cute but will kill:** i like cats but theyre so touchy

 

_ Deadly Goddess changed Cute but will kill’s nickname to Traitor _

 

**Traitor:** my true form has been shown

 

**Traitor uploaded traitorstormtrooper.jpg**

 

**Very gay:** OMG I LOVE STARWARS

 

**Lanceoff:** SAME!!!!!! WE SHOULD ALL CHILL AND HAVE A HP AND STARWARS MARATHON

 

**Traitor:** uhhhhh thats like 35 hours total

 

**Very gay:** this sounds awesome

 

**Hunky:** Then we can all cuddle!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I call Hunk for cuddles

 

**traitor :** im not a big cuddler so ill just chill w the pet

 

**Weird dad:** id feel weird cuddling with you all because youre kinda young

 

**Hunky:** Oh no looks like Keith and Lance have to cuddle

 

**Very gay:** y is that an oh no

 

**Very gay:** lance r u a good cuddler

 

**Lanceoff:** yeah uh sure um

  
  
  
  
  


**Lanceoff to Hunky**

 

**Lanceoff:** WHAT THE HELL MAN 

 

**Hunky:** What ever do you mean

 

**Hunky:** :))))))))))))

 

**Lanceoff:** Im blushin sm rn like what the heck

 

**Lanceoff:** I’m just thinking of his soft hair and ugghhhhhh

 

**Hunky:** :)))))))))))

  
  
  


**Very gay to Lanceoff**

 

**Very gay:** we dont hve 2 cuddle

 

**Very gay:** if u dont want

 

**Lanceoff:** No I want to i just

 

**Lanceoff:** Idk nm

  
  
  
  


**Very gay to Hunky**

 

**Very gay:** is lance mad @ me

 

**Hunky:** No he’s just pretty awkward

 

**Very gay:** oh ok

 

**Very gay:** cute

 

**Very gay:** WAIT SHIT

 

**Very gay:** dont tell lance i said that

 

**Hunky:** Of course not! Don’t worry

 

**Hunky:** Do you like Lance though?

 

**Very gay:** ……………..

 

**Very gay:** idk maybe

 

**Hunky:** :))))))))))

  
  
  


**Hunky to Deadly Goddess**

  
  


**Hunky uploaded screenshotsof.jpg**

**Hunky uploaded thatwhole.jpg**

**Hunky uploaded piningmess.jpg**

 

**Deadly Goddess:** OMG MY SONS

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Hunk we have to set them up

  
**Hunky:** :)))))))))))))))))))))))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is sorta short. Would yall rather have long chapters less frequently or shorter chapters more frequently?
> 
> As usual your comments give me life!!!!! I appreciate them so much and some have given me ideas future chapters so if you have suggestions please tell me
> 
> Also it just gets more klancey from here so buckle in kiddos


	7. Shiro Support Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love for shiro, Some klance, and those trans feels

  
  
  


**Hunky:** Anyone up?

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Yeah it's like 10 for me

 

**Weird dad:** im up

 

**Hunky:** Hi!

 

**Hunky:** Shiro why are you awake?

 

**Weird dad:** i get nightmares sometimes so

 

**Weird dad:** its a ptsd thing

 

**Hunky:** Oh ok

 

**Hunky:** Are you feeling ok right now?

 

**Weird dad:** yeah don't worry about me

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I'm glad to hear you're ok :D

 

**Weird dad:** thanks 

 

**Weird dad:** how are you two

 

**Hunky:** I haven't been able to get back to sleep so I'm kinda stuck awake

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I have class in an hour

 

**Weird dad:** what class

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Global Economics

 

**Hunky:** Holy crow! That's intense

 

**Deadly Goddess:** It's not too bad

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I have to take it for the field I want to go into

 

**Weird dad:** whats that

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Disaster/refugee health organizations 

 

**Hunky:** Wow that's really cool!

 

**Weird dad:** wow you have big dreams

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I feel like I have to do something to help people

 

**Deadly Goddess:** What about you guys? Any big dreams?

 

**Hunky:** I want to work to engineer renewable energy converters and stuff

 

**Deadly Goddess:** That's so cool!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Shiro?

 

**Weird dad:** i used to want to be in the military. i wanted to help people in disasters and stuff too

 

**Weird dad:** but then some stuff happened and i got thrown into combat

 

**Weird dad:** now i have ptsd and a prosthetic arm

 

**Weird dad:** im not able to be the help for those people because of my ptsd

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Wow Shiro I didn't realize you'd been through that. I'm so sorry

 

**Shiro:** its just my life at this point

 

**Hunky:** You can still help people. Maybe not in the way you wanted to. But you can help people in so many other ways

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Shiro there are so many things you can do to help people! We can help you find the right thing

 

**Hunky:** Yeah we're here for you man!

 

**Weird dad:** thanks so much

 

**Weird dad:** this made me feel a lot better

 

**Hunky:** <3

 

**Deadly Goddess:** <3

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Very gay:** i need a bf

 

**Traitor:** why

 

**Very gay:** im cold

 

**Weird dad:** keith a boyfriend isnt necessary for warming up

 

**Traitor:** theres alway dogs

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Or a platonic cuddle buddy! Like Hunk will be for me someday!

 

**Hunky:** Yes!!!!! I’m so up for cuddling with Allura!

 

**Very gay:** ok im still cold tho

 

**Lanceoff:** Keith I’ll be your boyfroend and cuddle with you

 

**Very gay:** lmao sure

 

**Lanceoff:** Haha yes hah

 

**Weird dad:** wtf

 

**Very gay:** ;)

 

**Traitor:** im confused

  
  
  
  


**Incoming call from Deadly Goddess**

  
  


“Allura!” Hunk squealed into the phone.

 

“It’s totally gonna happen! I’m so excited!” Allura shrieked back.

 

“I’m so proud of Lance for actually trying expressing his feelings” Hunk said. His friend had been so scared to say anything to Keith. But it seemed to have gone ok.

 

“Ok but one small thing. They both said lmao after. They could be kidding.” Allura replied hesitantly.

 

“But they both aren’t kidding! That’s the thing.”

 

Allura sighed. “Let’s hope they aren’t so completely oblivious.”

  
  
  


**Lanceoff to Very gay**

 

**Lanceoff:** Ok so were you like kidding?

 

**Very gay:** wut do u mean

 

**Lanceoff:** Like when I said we should cudle…….

 

**Very gay:** idk

 

**Very gay:** were u kidding

 

**Lanceoff:** uhhhhhh

 

**Lanceoff:** not really lmao

 

**Very gay:** wait r u kidding rn?

 

**Very gay:** u cant b serious and have lmao after everything

 

**Lanceoff:** Right sorry

 

**Lanceoff:** Ok so like

 

**Lanceoff:** If we lived closer together I’d ask you out and wanna be your bf

 

**Lanceoff:** But I know that long distance relationships are really hard

  
  
  


Lance’s hands were shaking and he was sweating. It had been 10 minutes since he sent the last message and Keith had been typing on and off the whole time. How could he be so impulsive to send something like that? He slammed his head on his desk, deciding to give up. Then he heard a little ding from his phone.

  
  


**Very gay:** omg

 

**Very gay:** ur so sweet

 

**Very gay:** i guess i feel the same

 

**Lanceoff:** Yeah?

 

**Very gay:** like ur rly funny and cute and make me laugh

 

**Very gay:** too bad we live far away

 

**Lanceoff:** Yeah………

 

**Very gay:** :/

 

**Lanceoff:** :/

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Traitor:** i just met a little kid and she kept using she her pronouns w me and im so happy right now

 

**Very gay:** thats so awesome!

 

**Very gay:** little kids r the best like that

 

**Hunky:** Awww that's so cute

 

**Traitor:** i dislike most small children

 

**Traitor:** that one was ok tho

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I love kids!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Especially when I'm paid to watch them

 

**Hunky:** ^^

 

**Lanceoff:** Aw hunk you babysit?

 

**Hunky:** Yeah I have some cousins that I watch

 

**Lanceoff:** Yeah same! I miss them

 

**Traitor:** do yall wanna hear a funny story abt my brother 

 

**Weird dad:** sure

 

**Traitor:** when Pokémon go came out this summer he was so insistent on making all the gyms in our neighborhood team mystic that he ended up getting hit by a car and my mom made me babysit him

 

**Very gay:** omg

 

**Traitor:** hes a 23 year old with a bachelors degree and claims to have a bf rn

 

**Traitor:** i dont believe him

 

**Weird dad:** wow he sounds like a real nerd

  
**Deadly Goddess:** ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao shiro you TOTALLY aren't dating that nerd or anything.......
> 
> I feel sort bad about making the klance stuff go like this but I'm trying to keep this sorta realistic and online dating can be soooooo tough
> 
> Also THANK YOU all so much for the lovely comments! It's such a treat to open my email and see the support. They really motivate me.
> 
> I'm super busy these next few weeks so I'll probably just update on the weekends like this. I hope y'all are having good weeks and such.
> 
> Also the last part with pidge was p much what happened to me yesterday so I added it in lmao


	8. KLANCE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KLANCE KLANCE KLANCE KLANCE KLANCE 
> 
> featuring Allura's butt

 

**Lanceoff:** Omg super cool thing!!!!

 

**Weird dad:** lets hear it

 

**Lanceoff:** i met a gay kid at my school

 

**Very gay:** oh…. nice….

 

**Very gay:** so you have a boyfriend now?

 

**Lanceoff:** What?! No

 

**Lanceoff:** SHES lesbian

 

**Very gay:** oh congrats :D

 

**Deadly Goddess:** That's so awesome Lance! I'm happy you found a friend who can relate

 

**Lanceoff:** Yeah she offered to dye my hair this weekend haha

 

**Hunky:** Dude you should totally do it!

 

**Lanceoff:** I'm considering it

  
  
  
  
  


**Very gay to Hunky**

 

**Very gay:** omg lance with dyed hair thats the cutest thing omg omg omg 

 

**Hunk:** You're really living up to that nickname 

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Shiro:** i went on another date with that guy

 

**Hunky:** Awww

 

**Very gay:** howd it go 

 

**Shiro:** really well

 

**Shiro:** hes so funny and told me all these stories about his family

 

**Shiro:** he really misses his sister 

 

**Lanceoff:** Omg shiro you marry him right now

 

**Weird dad:** uh what

 

**Weird dad:** im like 6

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Have you guys done anything? ;)

 

**Weird dad:** we held hands and kissed :))))

 

**Lanceoff:** Buddy,,,,,,,, she ment sex

 

**Weird dad:** oh. no

 

**Weird dad:** i wouldnt be opposed to it tho

 

**Very gay:** shiro

 

**Very gay:** i am a smol one who is sexually frustrated out of his goddamn mind

 

**Very gay:** pls have sex w your cute bf for me

 

**Lanceoff:** ^^

 

**Shiro:** it will happen when it happens

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Not everyone can look flawless and get laid whenever they want

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I'm lucky that way

 

**Traitor:** ew

 

**Traitor:** thats gross

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Sorry

 

**Hunky:** Yay for shiro!

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Lanceoff:** What color should I get my hair dyed?

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Blue. Always blue

 

**Hunky:** Maybe a teal color?

 

**Lanceoff:** Oooooo ya

 

**Lanceoff:** Thanks

 

**Traitor:** wow does anyone not dye there hair besides me

 

**Traitor:** *their

 

**Hunky:** I don't. It's not really my style

 

**Very gay:** i did a red streak once lmao

 

**Very gay:** it looked bad

 

**Lanceoff:** I bet it was cute

 

**Very gay:** 0_0

 

**Lanceoff:** ;))))

 

**Traitor:** these thirsty hos

 

**Weird dad:** ^^

 

**Weird dad:** i have a bleached tuft of hair

 

**Hunky:** Ooooo can we see???

 

**Weird dad:** sure

 

**Weird dad:** im not great with selfies by the way

 

**Deadly Goddess:** No one cares shiro we all wanna see that face

 

**Weird dad uploaded imtired.jpg**

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Omg Shiro you’re so hot!!!!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Like wtf

 

**Lanceoff:** Omg shiro you’re like a dilf

 

**Very gay:** wth lance

 

**Weird dad:** yeah lance

 

**Hunky:** Ugh everyone else is so attractive and cute and I’m so……

 

**Lanceoff:** HUNK YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL YOUR SMILES CURE EVERY DISEASE

 

**Hunky:** _ blushes _

 

**Lanceoff:** <3

 

**Traitor:** shiro whyd you dye it like that

 

**Weird dad:** i did it after i broke up with an ex

 

**Weird dad:** i sorta needed a change

 

**Traitor:** oh ok

 

**Traitor:** cool

 

**Lanceoff:** Guys I’m actually so excited to dye my hair!!!!!!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I’m excited to see it

 

**Lanceoff:** My friends Lexi who's doing it is really nice

 

**HUnky:** I’m so glad you made a friend!!!!!!

 

**Weird dad:** they grow up so fast

  
  
  


***

 

 

**Traitor:** my mom just got me ravenclaw panties

 

**Traitor:** i dont know how to feel about this

 

**Deadly Goddess uploaded ravenclawpanties.jpg**

 

**Deadly Goddess:** ARE THEY THESE ONES?????

 

**Traitor:** yes……

 

**Deadly Goddess:** OMG we're matching now!

 

**Weird dad:** allura you didnt need to send us a picture of your butt with the underwear on

 

**Very gay:** ^

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Whoops

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Now you can appreciate my lovely booty too! :D

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Lanceoff uploaded tealhair.jpg**

 

**Deadly Goddess:** OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I love it

 

_ Very gay changed nickname to Very very gay  _

 

**Very very gay:** holy shit lance ur really hot

 

**Traitor:** its cute

 

**Lanceoff:** Aww thanks!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** You look like a mermaid

 

**Very very gay:** a mermaid prince 

 

_ Deadly Goddess changed lanceoff’s nickname to Mermaid prince _

 

**Mermaid prince:** :,))))

 

**Mermaid prince:** This completed my life tbh

  
  
  
  


**Calling Mermaid prince**

 

“Uh hi Kieth?” Lance asked, sounding pretty confused.

 

“Hi. So like, I know you said long distance dating is hard and stuff but like we’ve been flirting these past few weeks since we saaid we like each other and seeing your smile in that picture just made me so happy and you light my fire and I really really wanna date you and stuff…” Keith took a big inhale after basically yelling his feelings to Lance.

 

“Oh I mean-” Lance started.

 

“You don’t have to! Sorry to interrupt and stuff…” 

 

“Keith,” Lance said in a way that made the boy shiver. “I wanna date you too. Like a lot.”

 

Keith’s insides felt like they were melting. He couldn’t stop grinning and blushing.

  
“Cool.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna not post it this weekend but I couldn't leave you all hanging for another week!
> 
> Ass usual your comments are the life of me I truly appreciate them! (I know I wrote ass usual. It was a typo. But a typo too funny to change)
> 
> I'm debating making the fic klunk? IDK as an aro person I don't really wanna make this more romance than I can handle but also klunk is very cute. What do yall think?


	9. Some goofs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few goofs where hunk is an angel, keith is thirsty, allura deserves a big hug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned there's implied sexual stuff in this

**Hunky:** Omg kill me kill me kill meeeeeee

 

**Traitor:** what happened???

 

**Hunky:** So I had to use the bathroom and there was this popular guy standing in there just charging his phone. And the thing is I sorta had to take a dump? So obviously because that dude was there I wasn't going to just poop! So I go to a urinal and try to be as quiet as possible. And I was doing ok until I accidentally let out THE LOUDEST FART OF ALL TIME AND THEN THE GUY STARTED LAUGHING UGHHHHH

 

**Traitor:** hahahaaaa

 

**Very very gay:** rip

 

**Mermaid prince:** I'm honestly wiping tears from my eyes that's so funny

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Hunky:** What's everyone's favorite two colors?

 

**Traitor:** hmmmm green and yellow

 

**Weird dad:** black and purple

 

**Very very gay:** red and black

 

**Mermaid prince:** Blue and baby pink

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Pink and lavender

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Why?

 

**Hunky:** I'm gonna knit you all scarves!!!!

 

**Traitor:** WHAT??????

 

**Traitor:** thats so kind omg 

 

**Weird dad:** wow that's so sweet hunk!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** HUNK YOU ARE SO KIND AND LOVELY

 

**Mermaid prince:** Omggggggg :,)))))) hunk you're so beautiful and amazing

 

**Mermaid prince:** You make everyday a treat for me

 

**Deadly Goddess:** ^^

 

**Traitor:** wait how are you gonna get them to us

 

**Hunky:** Mail?

 

**Weird dad:** wont that be expensive? ill pay you back for any costs

 

**Hunky:** Nope! It's on me guys don't worry about it at all

 

**Mermaid prince:** :,)))

 

**Very very gay:** i luv hunk sm

 

**Mermaid prince:** Me too <3

 

**Hunky:** _ blushes _

  
  
  


***

 

 

 

**Mermaid prince to Very very gay**

 

**Mermaid prince:** I just saw a couple going down a hill in a motercycle and side car

 

**Very very gay:** omg will u b the sidecar 2 my motorcycle

 

**Mermaid prince:** Omgggg sweetie I thought you’d never ask

 

**Mermaid prince:** I really wish you were here

 

**Very very gay:** omg same

 

**Very very gay:** i wanna makeout sm

 

**Mermaid prince:** Oh

 

**Mermaid prince:** That is not what I was thinking lmao

 

**Very very gay:** wut were u thinking

 

**Mermaid prince:** I wanna braid your hair

 

**Very very gay:** thats v cute i want that 2

 

**Very very gay:** but thinking of making out with u made me sorta…..

 

**Very very gay:** brb

 

**Mermaid prince:** ??????

 

**Mermaid prince:** What did I do?

 

**Mermaid prince:** WAIT KEITH DID YOU MAEN

 

**Mermaid prince:** Are you masturbating???????

 

**Mermaid prince:** Keith its been like 10 minutes where are you

 

**Very very gay:** hi……

 

**Mermaid prince:** I’m blushing soooooo much rn

 

**Very very gay:** good 2 know i make u feel that way ;)

 

**Mermaid prince:** Babe this is a little too much for me right now….

 

**Very very gay:** oh sry ill stop

 

**Mermaid prince:** Thanks

 

**Mermaid prince:**  Maybe we talk about that sort of stuff another time. I just need a little time to get comfy

 

**Very very gay:** i got u

 

**Very very gay:** <3

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Deadly Goddess:** I hate everything

 

**Hunky:** Whoa what’s wrong?

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I saw a fucking flower and now I’m bawling

 

**Deadly Goddess:** They were my dad’s favorite

 

**Mermaid prince:** It’s ok to cry

 

**Very very gay:** i have a hard time hearing texan accents bc they remind me too much of my dad

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I know it’s ok to cry and all

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I have a headache and my makeup is all smeared and I just want feelings to stop

 

**Hunky:** Maybe try calling Coran?

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Yeah that’s a good idea. Thanks Hunk

 

**Weird dad:** were always here allura

  
  


_ Calling Coran *o* _

 

“Hi princess what’s up?”

 

Allura sobbed and said, “I miss f-father”

 

“Oh Allura,” Coran sighed. “I do to. I’ll be right over ok?”

 

“Are- Are you s-sure? I d-don’t want to interrupt your day with m-my patheticness”

 

“You mean so much to me. I would feel awful if I didn’t help.”

 

“Th-thanks Coran. I j-just feel so lonely.” Allura let out a big cry and blew her nose.

 

“We can watch Harry Potter and eat ice cream ok? I’m glad you called me. I want to be here for you. We’re each other’s only family.”

 

“Y-yeah. I’ll leave the d-door unlocked.”

 

“I love princess.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

Allura waited for Coran and continued crying, a little less lonely.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Traitor:** how did you all know abt your lgbtq stuff?

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I saw Beyonce

 

**Weird dad:** I actually thought I was a real live 100% homosexual and then I saw Beyonce

 

**Hunky:** I’ve never really thought about sex… and I don’t want to…. But I think girls are guys and pretty much everyone one is cute and I wanna hold their hands

 

**Mermaid prince:** There was this boy on my rival soccer team when I was 13 and I stared at his butt like a lot

 

**Mermaid prince:** I thought it was because I hated him

 

**Mermaid prince:** Then some homoerrotic wrestling happened and we kissed…

 

**Mermaid prince:** Then I looked some terms up on the internet

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Lmao tiny Lance that’s adorable

 

**Very very gay:** i kinda never felt female but i didnt get it until puberty hit and i started super hating myself

 

**Very very gay:** then the internet helped me

 

**Hunky:** What about you Pidge?

 

**Traitor:** ive told my parents that im a girl my whole life and they did some research and got me on puberty blockers and have been super supportive my whole life

 

**Traitor:** the aroace stuff i figured out when my brother started dating 

 

**Traitor:** and he’s pan so i’ve always been sorta immersed in the community

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Traitor:** hey are you guys free tonight?

 

**Mermaid prince:** I am!

 

**Hunky:** I’m sorta sick so I can’t work tonight. So yeah I’m free

 

**Weird dad:** my bf got a new job and is working all the time now :,((((((

 

**Weird dad:** so im free

 

**Hunky:** Wow you’re calling him your boyfriend?

 

**Weird dad:** yeah it’s been like 2 months

 

**Very very gay:** omg u def had sex right

 

**Weird dad:** yeah……

 

**Mermaid prince:** Omg yay!!!!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** OMG go Shiro!

 

**Weird dad:** hah thanks

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I planned on getting drunk in my underwear alone tonight… but katie if you have a better idea please tell

 

**Weird dad:** omg i was gonna do that too

 

**Traitor:** you still can

 

**Traitor:** while we play scrabble and textl each other!!!!!!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

 

**Hunky:** I love scrabble

 

**Mermaid prince:** Is that the word game?

 

**Very very gay:** ya

 

**Very very gay:** i only use like 3 words irl so i suck at it

 

**Mermaid prince:** ;_; english isn’t my first language

 

**Weird dad:** me and allura will be drunk so its all good

 

**Traitor:** are you all in tho?

 

**Very very gay:** yeah i think so

 

**Traitor:** omg best friday night ever!!!! beating my friends at a game!

 

**Mermaid prince:** ILL BE THE ONE BEATING YOU GREMLIN

  
**Traitor:** time will tell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I post the next chapter this weekend too? It pairs really well with this one (they play scrabble)
> 
> YOU ALL ARE SO KIND AND WONDERFUL!!!!! You're comments make me sooooo happy!!! This week has been a total butt and I'll just read your comments to make me feel better. Also they've given me ideas so thank yall for that
> 
> There's klunk if you squint 
> 
> Also lmao should I change the warnings?


	10. Scrabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They play Scrabble. It's quite short

  


**Traitor:** everyone connected to the game?

 

 **Weird dad:** i am

 

 **Deadly Goddess:** Me too

 

 **Hunky:** Yup!

 

 **Very very gay:** ya

 

 **Mermaid prince:** I am!

 

 **Traitor:** ok bc im the coolest ill go first

 

 **Weird dad:** no argument here

 

 **Weird dad:** also this white wine is lovely

 

 **Mermaid prince:** Omg are you a mom?

 

_Weird dad changed nickname to soccer mom_

 

 **Deadly Goddess:** Wow I’m drinking vodka

 

 **Deadly Goddess:** Up your game Shiro

 

 **Traitor:** done!

 

 **Hunky:** FIRST TURN AND YOU PUT FUCKING XENON???????

 

 **Very very gay:** wuts that

 

 **Hunky:** An element

 

 **Mermaid prince:** I went too :))))))))

 

 **Soccer mom:** really lance? Sex?

 

 **Very very gay:** lmao lance is a thirsty ho

 

 **Mermaid prince:** thirsty 4 u ;)

 

 **Traitor:** LEAVE

 

 **Deadly Goddess:** Blocked

  
  


Thirty minutes later had the group in full on battle. Pidge was in first, using academic words. Lance came a close second, by taking advantage of the double letters and such. Hunk, Allura, Keith and Shiro were last, not trying too hard. Shiro kept taking long turns trying to figure out any real words, while Keith is put a vowel after any single consonant.

 

 

 **Traitor:** LANCE YOU LITTLE SHIT IM GONNA MURDER YOU

 

 **Mermaid prince:** hahahahahahahahahahaha

 

 **Deadly Goddess:** Whatd he do

 

 **Traitor:** THAT FUCKER PUT AN S ON THE END OF MY SUPER AMAZING WORD QUEUE AND HIT A TRIPLE WORD I HATE HIM

 

 **Mermaid prince:** :)))))))))

 

 **Hunky:** Oh god it’s Shiro’s turn

 

 **Soccer mom:** i mase a words

 

 **Traitor:** the word ‘man’

 

 **Very very gay:** not a big deal bro

 

 **Deadly Goddes:** Congrations shito

 

 **Soccer mom:** guysssssssssss im like drunk and i wnna cudlw wigh my boyfrond

 

 **Mermaid prince:** I wish I could cuddle with keith

 

 **Very very gay:** i wish i could cuddle w lance <333333

 

 **Hunky:** Awwwwww

 

 **Deadly Goddess:** I need cuddles too

 

 **Hunky:** Guys I just used my last letter

 

 **Soccer mom:** shitrd getting seirous

 

 **Mermaid prince:** What was tht supposed to mean

 

 **Very very gay:** drunk shiro is my fav shiro

 

 **Traitor:** HAH BITCHES SUCK MY DICK I JUST FUCKING WONNNNNNNNNN

 

 **Mermaid prince:** NOOOOOOOOO

 

 **Mermaid prince:** >:((((((((((((((((

 

 **Traitor:** pay up boiiii

 

 **Mermaid prince:** What? With what????

 

 **Traitor:** your dignity >:)))))))

 

 **Mermaid prince:** Mom pudge is being mean

 

 **Soccer mom:** fuck

 

 **Soccer mom:** HE WILL NEVER TAKE ME AWYRFVCEDSX

 

 **Hunky:** Shiro?

 

 **Very very gay:** omg wuttttt

 

 **Soccer mom:** hi shiros boyfriend here

 

 **Soccer mom:** i came to check on himafter work because he sent me some very suspicious texts that were clearly alcohol induced

 

 **Very very ay:** classic

 

 **Soccer mom:** I come in to find him in spongebob boxers with an empty bottle of wine playing scrabble online….

 

 **Soccer mom:** so i sent him to bed and will watch him till the morning because i kinda really like him and dont want him to die

 

 **Hunky:** That’s what I want

 

 **Ver very gay:** ^

 

 **Traitor:** thanks. make sure shiro is safe and stuff

 

 **Soccer mom:** of course. Now im gonna go because i know none of you….. and sorta have a boyfriend i love

 

 **Deadly Goddess:** LOVE?????

 

 **Soccer mom:** FUCK IVE SAID TOO MUCH OK G2G BYEEEEEEEEEEE

 

 **Hunky:** Bye Mark!

 

 **Hunky:** Wait that’s his name right?

 

 **Deadly Goddess:** Yes?

 

 **Mermaid prince:** It definitely started with an m

  
**Very very gay:** its prob mark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short. I was gonna have it as part of the last chapter but then I decided not to? 
> 
> You're comments feed my life and make me sooooo happy. They also give me ideas and such!
> 
> Also if you guys have any prompts or ideas for this I would looooooove suggestions! The few I've gotten make me so happy and have given me my favorite chapters. Please help me!


	11. I have sinned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some cute stuff that can be interpreted as hance, some sin, and something i dont regret at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so in this there is a mention of an episode from The Office. Let me just explain it to everyone so we all can understand the goofs. So it's called The Gay Witch Hunt and what happens is that one of the characters in the show is basically outed to the whole office by his boss, Micheal. Micheal proceeds to go on a search for anyone else in the office that could possibly be gay for "equality purposes" (its complete bullshit and we alllllllll hate micheal). The episode comes to a crazy climax when Micheal has a meeting on sexuality and how it's ok to be gay and then, to prove how heterosexual he is, forces the gay man in the office to kiss him. It's the most awful kiss that could ever be dreamed up by the entire world, like two sock puppets. At the very end, the gay character talks to the camera explaining that he was going to sue the company, but was offered a paid 3 month vacation with his partner and a car if he didn't sue. So he says, "Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay". Anyways it's really funny and horrible and if you enjoy second hand embarrassment I suggest watching it

**Incoming call from Hunky**

 

“Hey Hunk what’s up?” Lance asked, still very tired from a long day at school. He couldn’t wait for spring break.

 

“LANCE GUESS WHAT??!!!!” 

 

“Uhhhhhhh I don’t know buddy,” he said as he pulled the phone far away from his ear.

 

“My moms are letting me pick where we go for spring break and I told them I wanted to go to Arizona!”

 

“Why would you ever want to come here?”

 

“To see you of course!”

 

Lance immediately jumped off his bed and started hopping around his room. “Really?”

 

“Yes really! We’ll finally get to see each other!” 

 

“Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my GOSH!”

 

“When is your spring break?”

 

“Hold on lemme check.” Lance opened up his calendar. “It’s the week before Easter”

 

“Mine too! We get to see each other all week! This is so exciting!”

 

“Hmm maybe it would be better if I took a bus up to Salt Lake City. My town is sooooooo boring.” Lance thought of the “downtown” which consisted of a pharmacy, greasy dinner, and a couple bars.

 

“Really? I don’t want you to spend a ton of money just to see me.”

 

“Hunk, I have no friends here. I have so much money saved that I planned on using for fun stuff.” Lance anticipated on making lots of friends and doing fun things with them, but once someone at his school saw his bisexual flag button, he became more of an outcast. 

 

“That made me sad but also makes me happy because there’s so much fun stuff we can do here!”

 

“I gotta check in with my host family first, but I’m sure it’ll be ok.”

 

“Ok cool. I gotta go help my parents with the restaurant now.”

 

“Bye Hunk! Loooooove youuuuuuuuu”

 

“Love you too Lance”

 

Lance ran out of his room to ask his host parents. They said as long as he texted them every few hours on the bus and called them often, it would be ok.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Keith and Lance had begun watching sitcoms together and texting. It started when Keith said he’d never seen The Office.

 

“What?! How have you never seen The Office? It’s what got me so good at english.”

 

Keith sighed. “I don’t know. I’m not that big of a TV person.”

 

“Dude, we gotta watch it together.”

 

“Ugh fine.”

  
  
  


Currently they were watching the Gay Witch Hunt.

  
  


**Very very gay:** omgomgomgomgomg

 

**Very very gay:** i wanna murder micheal

 

**Mermaid prince:** baaaabe kiss me like that

 

**Very very gay:** ewewewewewewewewewewewew

 

**Mermaid prince:** IT PAYS TO BE GAY

 

**Very very gay:** meeeeeee

 

**Very very gay:** i dont think i can watch another one after that

 

**Mermaid prince:** too sexy huh?

 

**Very very gay:** >:(

 

**Mermaid prince:** babe if you need to go take care of yourself I can wait ;))))))))

 

**Ver very gay:** STOOOOPPPP

 

**Mermaid prince:** shit

 

**Very very gay:** wut

 

**Mermaid prince:** I don't wanna say it and weird you out

 

**Very very gay:** tell me

 

**Mermaid prince:** uhhhh ok

 

**Mermaid prince:** just joking abt you being turned on turned me on…..

 

**Very very gay:** omg

 

**Mermaid prince:** Sorry….

 

**Very very gay:** no that like

 

**Very very gay:** thats p hot

 

**Mermaid prince:** 0_0

 

**Very very gay:** i think this is the most ive wanted to be with u irl

 

**Mermaid prince:** Because?

 

**Very very gay:** bc i wanna take care of u ;)

 

**Mermaid prince:** omgomg omg I'm like very hard now

 

**Very very gay:** r u touching urself 

 

**Mermaid prince:** Now I am

 

**Mermaid prince:** Are you?

 

**Very very gay:** i sorta have this whole time 

 

**Mermaid prince:** Omg

 

**Very very gay:** can we like….

 

**Mermaid prince:** Sext?

 

**Very very gay:** i was gonna say call each other so i can hear u

 

**Mermaid prince:** Oh

 

**Mermaid prince:** yes yes yes please

 

**Incoming call from very very gay**

  
  
  
  


_ An appropriate amount of time later _

  
  
  
  


**Mermaid prince:** That was so good holy shit

 

**Very very gay:** can we do this like all the time?

 

**Mermaid prince:** For sure

 

**Mermaid prince:** K I'm gonna go shower

 

**Very very gay:** ah yes

 

**Very very gay:** the man juice

 

**Mermaid prince:** STOP

 

**Very very gay:** the one time I'm happy to not have a penis tbh

 

**Very very gay:** I can go like 3 more times if I want

 

**Mermaid prince:** Well I have to shower and do homework so you can have fun with that babe

 

**Very very gay:** <3

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Soccer mom:** GUYS FUNNIEST THING EVER JUST HAPPENED TO ME

 

**Very very gay:** U WOULDNT 

 

**Traitor:** omg what happned

 

**Soccer mom:** so i was talking to keith bc he was bored and lance was busy. and his phone went off and guess what his ringtone is!!!!!!!

 

**Hunky:** I’m scared

 

**Soccer mom:** ITS MR BRIGHTSIDE

 

**Mermaid prince:** KIETH NOOOOOOOO

 

**Traitor:** i dont know if we can be friends anymore keith

 

**Very very gay:** ok. u all put ur music on shuffle. wuts the first thing 2 play???????

 

**Hunky:** Omg I’m so up for this

 

**Hunky:** ………. it was embarrassing

 

**Soccer mom:** do share

 

**Hunky:** it was bop to the top from high school musical

 

**Mermaid prince:** Cinematic classic

 

**Deady Goddess:** ^^^^^^^^^

 

**Soccer mom:** fuckkkkkkkkk

 

**Soccer mom:** it was welcome to the black parade

 

**Very very gay:** U CALL ME EMO

 

**Mermaid prince:** I can’t believe mom is an emo fuck

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Lmao you all are getting embarrassing stuff and I got an Adelle song

 

**Hunky:** Omg my mom

 

**Mermaid prince:** I regret everything

 

**Very very gay:** wut was it

 

**Mermaid prince:** I don’t wanna say

 

**Soccer mom:** i said mine. you say yours

 

**Mermaid prince:** It was I want it that way 

 

**Soccer mom:** ngl nick carter was my first celeb crush

 

**Traitor:** who?

 

**Soccer mom:** shit i feel old 

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Pidge what did you get?

 

**Traitor:** everyone connect to the voice thing

 

**Hunky:** I don’t like where this is going…

 

**Mermaid prince:** I trust pidge

 

**Traitor:** ok youre all in. here we go

 

**Very very gay:** PIDGE U MEME LOVING DICK ASS FUCKER

 

**Traitor:** >:)))))))))))

 

**Mermaid prince:** Bye pidge see ya never

  
**Traitor:** >:)))))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song pidge played was this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
> 
> You all are so kind and make me so happy with your comments. I feel like after this I'll get mixed reactions...... oh well haha
> 
> Everyone is soooooo curious about the Shiro Pidge Matt plot line. I wonder where on earth it could go........ >:)))))))


	12. its klunk yall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally some actual klunk!!!!!

**Mermaid prince to Very very gay and Hunky**

 

**Mermaid prince:** Hi!!!

 

**Very very gay:** hi hun 

 

**Mermaid prince:** Don't you mean hon?

 

**Very very gay:** no u r my ancient chinese warrior

 

**Mermaid prince:** I'm Cuban

 

**Hunky:** Uh hi Hunk here. Why am I here?

 

**Mermaid prince:** Right I wanted to make a group chat with just the boys!

 

**Hunky:** What about Shiro?

 

**Very very gay:** dads r not boys

 

**Mermaid prince:** ^^

 

**Hunky:** Ok?

 

**Mermaid prince:** I mostly just wanted to say that you're both my fav boys and I wanna give you hugs

 

**Very very gay:** i dont know how 2 respond

 

**Hunky:** Awwwww Lance I wanna hug you too!

 

**Very very gay:** im so red rn

 

_ Very very gay changed nickname to Berry gay _

 

**Berry gay:** am i cute yet?

 

**Mermaid prince:** Babe you're always cute

 

**Hunky:** Haha yeah…..

  
  
  
  
  


**Hunky to Deadly Goddess and Soccer mom**

 

**Hunky:** HELP

 

**Soccer mom:** whats up

 

**Hunky:** I think I like boys

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Awww welcome to the club 

 

**Hunky:** Specifically two boys

 

**Soccer mom:** ?

 

**Hunky:** Lance and Keith 

 

**Deadly Goddess:** IM GONNA DIE THIS IS TOO CUTE

 

**Hunky:** Please help I know they're together and probably wouldn't like me but I kinda like them both and they make my tummy all twirly and ughhhhh

 

**Soccer mom:** im sure they would understand! youre a very nice and cute person hunk 

 

**Deadly Goddess:** They probably are talking about how much they love you right now

 

**Hunky:** Probably not….

  
  
  
  
  


**Berry gay to Mermaid prince:**

 

**Berry gay:** hey babe…..

 

**Mermaid prince:** Yeah?

 

**Berry gay:** so like i still really like u in the same way and want our relationship to stay the same but I sorta maybe like another boy……

 

**Berry gay:** i feel really bad about it and im so sorry

 

**Mermaid prince:** As long as you're being honest with me it's ok

 

**Mermaid prince:** I also like another boy….

 

**Berry gay:** omg who?

 

**Mermaid gay:** Hunk……

 

**Berry gay:** wait same

 

**Mermaid prince:** OoO

 

**Berry gay:** hes soooooo cute

 

**Mermaid prince:** !!!!!!

 

**Berry gay:** and like

 

**Mermaid prince:** I wanna give you both smooches

 

**Berry gay:** exactly!!!!!!

 

**Mermaid gay:** What the hell do we do now

 

**Berry gay:** no idea

 

**Mermaid prince:** Hopeless pining?

 

**Berry gay:** sounds like a plan

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Soccer mom:** my bf just said something about steam????? whats this?????

 

**Hunky:** Gaseous form of water?

 

**Soccer mom:** he was talking about video games? i think?

 

**Traitor:** its a video game site…. you can buy games or get free games there. its great

 

**Soccer mom:** i never understood those gosh darn video game whatsah hoosits. i only understand what the good lord gave me

 

**Deadly Goddess:** What did he give you?

 

**Soccer mom:** my two arms. but he took one of em!

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Hunky:** ITS ALMOST EASTER!!!!!!!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I didn’t realize you were so religious

 

**Hunky:** What? No

 

**Hunky:** Lance is coming up to visit me for spring break!

 

**Mermaid prince:** I'm so excited!!!! I finally get to hug Hunk!!!!

 

**Berry gay:** im so jealous 

 

**Traitor:** of who?

 

**Berry gay:** both

 

**Mermaid prince:** babe :,(

 

**Berry gay:** :,,((((((

 

**Traitor:** am i missing something

 

**Berry gay:** <<<<<=

 

**Traitor:** wtf is that

 

**Berry gay:** a pine tree

 

**Mermaid prince:** _ gasp _

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I thought the pining was over. You two are together

 

**Mermaid prince:** BABE :,,,((((((((((

 

**Berry gay:** ^^^

  
**Hunky:** ????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so first off I wanna say sorry for not posting last week. I didn't have my computer and couldn't upload from my phone. 
> 
> Next I gotta thank you ll so much for the nice comments and support!!!!! It makes me so happy and gives me more confidence. There's gonna be some prose in the next few chapters that I'm a little nervous about. But I hope it's not too bad.


	13. The one where everyone murders me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what the title could mean??? :0

****

**Very very gay:** do u ever see a pic from wen ur younger and wanna die

 

**Traitor:** omg meeeeeeee

 

**Traitor:** i have a pic of me when i was 10 and its so gross and i was so disgusting and ugh

 

**Very very gay:** i saw a pic of myself from b4 i got adopted and i had long hair and was forced to wear pink and shit

 

**Soccer mom:** that sounds awful im so sorry

 

**Very very gay:** yeah it kinda sucked

 

**Very very gay:** then my gaurdian angel eve came and saved my life 

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Who?

 

**Very very gay:** my legal gaurdian

 

**Very very gay:** shes a trans woman who had gotten out of a bad spot and had some money and a free room and wanted to help someone

 

**Very very gay:** so she looked to foster a kid and found me through a trans network

 

**Very very gay:** it was like i was cinderella

 

**Traitor:** im so happy you have someone like that in your life!!!!!

 

**Very very gay:** yeah me too :D

  
  
  


***

 

 

 

**Deadly Goddess uploaded glitterface.jpg**

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I did Coran’s makeup

 

**Hunky:** OMGOMGOMG this is so amazing

 

**Mermaid prince:** Holy shit that contour

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Coran is walking around and I’m taking him to a gay bar tonight

 

**Soccer mom:** are you trying to get him laid???

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Ew no. Just drunk because it’s funny

 

**Traitor:** wait can we all just appreciate his makeup????? like damn girl that contour, the silver glitter eyeshadow, the cat eye, THE LASHES 

 

**Soccer mom:** id bang him

 

**Traitor:** MOM STOP

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Honestly! He's basically my uncle!

 

**Soccer mom:** i embarrass you all because i love you

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Soccer mom to Traitor**

 

**Soccer mom:** hey katie have you ever been to boston?

 

**Traitor:** yeah to drop my brother off at college when I was like 9

 

**Traitor:** im actually going out there to see him this summer

 

**Soccer mom:** whoa cool! i live in boston and am looking for something a nerd would enjoy 

 

**Traitor:** rude

 

**Soccer mom:** well my bfs family is going to see him and meet me? but he hasnt told them that yet. and i think the most important person for me to win over is his sister who is, in his words, so nerdy that neil degrasse tyson would roll his eyes and call her a nerd

 

**Traitor:** that is quite nerdy

 

**Traitor:** but youre in luck because youre talking to me!

 

**Traitor:** depending on the nerd type id say the mit robot museum, district hall, digital den, miracle of science, and i gotta stop before i get too excited

 

**Soccer mom:** wow thanks! ill look into those

 

**Traitor:** im jealous of this girl. anyone would be lucky to have you as a brothers boyfriend

 

**Soccer mom:** thanks katie! i really hope she feels that way too

 

**Traitor:** hey maybe (if you wouldnt mind hanging out with a 14 year old for a bit) we could meet up when i go to boston?

 

**Soccer mom:** sure! youre a delight to talk to so i think it could be cool to meet up

 

**Traitor:** omg yay!

 

**Traitor:** ive never really met a friend irl

 

**Soccer mom:** aw thats ok

 

**Traitor:** its pathetic 

 

**Soccer mom:** being a trans girl must be hard. its totally ok to not have many or any friends where you are

 

**Traitor:** not to mention i live in a stupid suburb 

 

**Soccer mom:** oh gosh! katie i just wanna give you a big hug and protect you from any assholes

 

**Traitor:** thanks shiro 

 

**Soccer mom:** i grew up in a suburb as a gay kid who was in love with his only friend. it was tough and sucked and i didnt think id get through it. the only thing that kept me alive was the idea of college. my life is pretty good right now. I'm not completely sure where im going but im happy. youll get there too

 

**Traitor:** im crying a little thanks shiro

 

**Soccer mom:** oh no!

 

**Traitor:** happy tears tho

 

**Soccer mom:** oh thank god i couldnt handle making a teenage girl cry

 

**Traitor:** now i wanna give you a hug

 

**Soccer mom:** a few months!

  
**Traitor:** yeah!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad about being behind schedule so here you are. Double update! And I was too lazy to proof read so yikes....
> 
> Also please comment more it makes my lifeeeeeeeeee <3
> 
> And the reveal is coming......


	14. Lance in the salty lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Hunk meet up and it's very sweet

Lance was on the bus to Salt Lake City. He could  _ finally  _ see his friend and crush Hunk. It had been a grueling week of looking through Hunk’s instagram, daydreaming about confessing, and being brought back to disappointing reality. He and Keith had made a pining playlist and Lance was listening to it right now. The current song was Photograph by Ed Sheeran. Lance stared out the window, watching red dusk get blown up by the bus. He thought of how nice it would be to see Hunk in real life. His warm embrace, seeing his sunshine smile, hearing his open, perfect laugh. It was like a fairy tale, until he remembered the feelings probably weren’t reciprocated. Finally the bus came to a stop and the driver announced that they had arrived. Lance practically sprinted off the bus with his bag and ran outside to meet Hunk where he said he'd be. 

 

“Lance!” A familiar voice boomed. “Over here!” Lance turned his head to see Hunk waving next to a mini van. 

 

“Hunk!” the Cuban teen ran over to the car and was immediately pulled into a big hug. They fit together perfectly. 

 

Hunk pulled away, gestured to the car, and said, “Welcome to the pimp mobile!”

 

Lance burst out laughing and climbed into the passenger seat. The radio started and Lance recognized the song immediately.

 

“Is this from Wicked?” He shouted happily.

 

“Popular! I know about popular-” Hunk sang in reply. 

 

“I love this musical!” Lance said, and started singing along with the music.

 

Soon the two of them had harmonized through most of the album and Hunk pulled into a driveway of a cute brick house. There were bright yellow flowers blooming in the garden, and a large oak tree with a swing hanging from it in the back yard. The sky was blue with only a few clouds.

 

“This is so great!” Lance said in awe. “Everything is so cute and warm and  _ you _ .”

 

“Thanks” Hunk said, blushing slightly. “It’s nothing too special but I’m glad you were able to come.”

 

Lance got out of the car and replied, “Me too, buddy.”

  
  
  


When Hunk walked in the house, with Lance close behind, he was bombarded with hugs and kisses from his moms and two younger sisters.

 

“Uh hi guys. I was literally gone for 45 minutes.” Hunk replied tentatively.

 

“We’re so just glad he’s not an internet pedophille!” cried one of his moms, the short one.

 

They taller one with blonde hair extended her hand to Lance while beaming. “Nice to meet you! I’m Joan.”

 

Lance shook her hand, a little nervous. 

 

Hunk pulled Lance close to him and said, “My other mom is Silvia,” he pointed at the short one who was glad Lance wasn’t some internet pedophille, “and these are my sisters Talia and Emma” Talia looked almost exactly like a tiny, 10 year old Hunk with long, braided hair. Emma looked more similar to Joan, short blonde hair, thin frame, and appeared to be in middle school.

 

“Hello I’m Lance,” He said, trying to seem collected.

 

“Lance do you want anything to eat or drink?” Silvia offered. “Hunk was so excited he baked some cookies for you.”

 

Hunk’s face was flushed with pink. “Mom, that was gonna be a surprise!”

 

Lance laughed a little and said “It’s ok. I’d maybe just like to put my stuff down.”

 

Silvia clasped her hands together exclaiming, “Of course! How rude of us. Hunk, show your friend to your room.”

 

“Thanks ma’am. And thank you all for letting me stay with you for a few days. I truly appreciate it.”

 

“It’s great to see Hunk with someone he likes!” Joan said, then covered her mouth. Hunk shot her a look and Emma giggled. “I mean a friend! A friend like you!” Joan forced a smile and left the room.

 

“Sorry she’s so awkward,” Hunk said while picking up Lance’s suitcase. “I really love my family but they’re pretty overwhelming.”

 

“I love them,” Lance said quickly. “They remind me of my family a lot. My host family is so unsure of how to act around me and are very formal. But my mom and dad are so warm and goofy. I miss that sort of thing.”

 

Hunk smiled. “Then I’m glad to provide you with embarrassment.”

  
  
  
  


Hunk and Lance settled into Hunk’s room, watching Netflix on Hunk’s laptop. Lance soon realized that all the travel from the day made him extremely tired, so he rested his head on Hunk’s shoulder. It was soft and warm, making Lance blush. After a few more episodes of the awful magical girl anime they were watching, the Cuban teen sat between Hunk’s legs on the floor and let his body relax into Hunk’s chest. The contact calmed all of Lance’s anxieties about traveling.

 

“Hey Hunk can I tell you something?” Lance could feel his friends heartbeat quicken at that. 

 

“Uh yeah sure buddy” 

 

“So um for like three weeks now me and-” Lance realized he shouldn’t just tell Hunk something private about Keith without his permission. “Uh I’ve been thinking about some stuff.” Lance was so unsure how to tell Hunk. It was especially hard without his boyfriend there. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

Lance sighed and pulled away from Hunk, sitting on his feet. “I kinda like you. Like  _ like _ like you.” The Cuban boy looked at his knees. 

 

“What? Really?” Lance looked up and saw Hunk grinning. “I like you too!”

 

“Wow I can’t believe this worked out so well!” 

 

“Wait Lance,” Hunk started, clearly worried. “What about Keith?”

 

With a sigh, Lance replied, “Keith um, knows. And is ok with it?”

 

“You don’t seem too sure…”

 

“Look, I don’t want to speak for him in this situation but I can tell you that he understands this and would be ok with us doing stuff.”  

 

With this, Hunk nodded and gave a sigh of relief.

 

Lance looked at Hunk’s face. It was beautiful. His soft brown hair that swept over his face. Those sweet eyelashes that you could only see up close like this. His bright smile and blushing cheeks. His soft lips…

  
“Hunk, can-” Lance put his hand on Hunk’s face. “Can I kiss you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg so this is where the Hance tag comes in ;0
> 
> You all make me so happy with your comments!!!! LIke I can't even describe how wonderful they all are. I appreciate all the love and support.
> 
> Also next week I'm so pumped to post the next chapter, although it may be late Sunday night. It will be something people have long anticipated


	15. It happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the moment we've all been waiting for... and I'm bad at writing so it's dissapointing

**Deadly Goddess:** Wow I can’t believe Hunk and Lance are actually meeting up

 

**Soccer mom:** yeah its pretty crazy

 

**Soccer mom:** this chat has really brought people together

 

**Traitor:** yeah ive actually made friends

 

**Very very gay:** did u not have friends b4?

 

**Traitor:** naw not really

 

**Traitor:** most ppl irl are too scared to talk to the kid who hacked into the school system on multiple occasions and could potentially screw up all their grades

 

**Soccer mom:** PIDGE YOU WOULDNT

 

**Traitor:** of course not. It just keeps them from bullying me for being weird

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I never had trouble making friends, it’s just getting close to them is what’s hard for me.

 

**Very very gay:** im normally a closed off person

 

**Very very gay:** at least irl

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I guess after I moved away from home with Coran I got the same way too…

 

**Soccer mom:** it’s ok to be closed off as long as you don’t get unhealthy about it

 

**Very very gay:** im very unhealthy about it

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Lmao same

 

**Traitor:** bottle it up squad

 

**Soccer mom:** where the hell are lance and hunk?????

 

**Very very gay:** >:(((((((((

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Wow I think someone is a little salty about something

 

**Very very gay:** me???????

 

**Very very gay:** never

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I know this is the bottle it up squad but you can tell us about your feelings Keith

 

**Very very gay:** fine but start a new chat for the 4 of us

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Fine fine.

  
  
  
  
  


**Deadly Goddess has created Super secret bottle it up squad chat**

 

**Deadly Goddess:** So are you gonna tell us?

 

**Very very gay:** ok so like lance and i both sorta have a crush on hunk and were still dating and hes my sweet bf and im so happy to have him but when i found out that hes going to so hunk irl he asked if he could try to like make a move or whatever…… and i said i was fine with it as long as he was honest ad whatever but im actually like really jealous and wanna be there too and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. but ik its not cool to be the possesive bf and i want lance to be happy and this just sorta sucks

 

**Soccer mom:** wow

 

**Traitor:** im not great with these situations but that really does suck

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I’m so sorry Keith! You’re going about this in a very mature way and I completely understand feeling jealous in this situation.

 

**Soccer mom:** ive been in similar situations and its really tough. you have to be the bigger person and trust lance when he tells you how he feels

 

**Berry gay:** thanks guys…

 

**Berry gay:** i just really wish i could b there

 

**Traitor:** i bet

 

**Soccer mom:** this is a really hard thing right now but im sure it will get better

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Do you want us to distract you?

 

**Berry gay:** sure?

 

**Soccer mom:** whats a vampires favorite fruit?

 

**Berry gay:** omg shiro no

 

**Soccer mom:** a blood orange ;)

 

**Traitor:** that was really bad

 

**Soccer mom:** whats a vampires least favorite song?

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Shiro stop. You're only embarrassing yourself. 

 

**Soccer mom:** another one bites the dust ;)

 

**Berry gay:** omg this is awful

 

**Traitor:** ^^

 

**Soccer mom:** why are vampire families so close?

 

**Traitor:** maybe if we dont respond he wont say more 

 

**Soccer mom:** because blood is thicker than water! ;))))

 

**Deadly Goddess:** We need to stop Shiro

 

**Berry gay:** sorry mom looks like u have 2 die now

 

**Soccer mom:** ok so ive been telling all these to matt and he punched me and then told me to tell you guys the best joke in the world

 

**Berry gay:** matt?

 

**Soccer mom:** ya my bf 

 

**Traitor:** …….

 

**Soccer mom:** what do vampires use as tea bags?

 

**Traitor:** O_o

 

**Soccer mom:** tampons! ;p

 

**Berry gay:** omg thats so bad

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I honestly hate you and Matt so much right now. 

 

**Traitor:** shiro

 

**Soccer mom:** yes :)))$$))))

 

**Traitor:** is matts last name holt?

 

**Soccer mom:** uh yeah howd you know?

 

**Traitor:** THAT FUCKER IM GONNA BEAT HIM UP NEXT TIME I SEE HIS SCRAWNY ASS

 

**Berry gay:** ???????

 

**Deadly Goddess:** ^^^^^^^

 

**Soccer mom:** pidge why are you hurting my bf

 

**Traitor:** I KNEW THAT JOKE WAS BAD ENOUGH INLY MATT COULD TELL IT

 

**Traitor:** ugh you two are stupidly perfect together

 

**Traitor:** shiro you watch the fuck out and treat him right

 

**Traitor:** wait no shiro ilove you

 

**Traitor:** MATT YOU FUCKER YOU BETTER TREAT SHIRO RIGHT!!!!

 

**Traitor:** wait no youve had sex ewwwww

 

**Berry gay:** anyone else super confused?

 

**Soccer mom:** oh dear lord

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Wtf is going on????

 

**Soccer mom:** i think im dating kaites brother

 

**Traitor:** YOURE DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE

 

**Deadly Goddess:** HOLY SHIT WHAT?!!!

 

**Berry gay:** omg

 

**Soccer mom:** fuck what do we do?

 

**Traitor:** i have no idea

 

**Traitor:** this is so weird

 

**Soccer mom:** howd it take this long to figure it out?!

 

**Traitor:** we must be dense as fuck

 

**Deadly Goddess:** I feel wrong watching all this but yet…. I must

 

**Berry gay:** ^^

 

**Soccer mom:** pidge we gotta tell matt 

 

**Traitor:** noooooo

 

**Traitor:** hes gonna yell at me for talking to strangers online 

 

**Soccer mom:** i cant lie to him!!!

 

**Traitor:** we could wait till june :DDDDD

 

**Soccer mom:** i dont like where this is going

 

**Traitor:** we can surprise him and i can yell at him for calling me such a big nerd

 

**Berry gay:** pidge u r a nerd

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Big time

 

**Soccer mom:** omg wait no pidge im remembering things you said about your brother and i wanna make fun of matt so much rn

 

**Traitor:** i never need an excuse to make fun of him

 

**Soccer mom:** NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HE TOLD ME HE BROKE HIS ARM LAST SUMMER SAVING A FOX PUP IN A STORM

 

**Traitor:** THAT SON OF A 

 

**Traitor:** LOVELY WOMAN BC THATS MY MOM

 

**Traitor:** he got hit by a car trying to catch a fucking rattata

 

**Soccer mom:** katie pleeeaaaaaasseeeeeee

 

**Soccer mom:** please let me bug him

 

**Traitor:** hes gonna be so mad at me and tell our parents

 

**Soccer mom:** he is really over protective….

 

**Soccer mom:** its pretty cute

 

**Traitor:** ugh fine

 

**Traitor:** BUT DO IT IN A WAY THATS NOT MAKING ME SEEM LIKE A DUMB KID WHO TALKS TO ADULTS ONLINE

 

**Soccer mom:** ok ill tell him when he gets home

  
**Berry gay:** as fun as this is lance is clling me so i g2g

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK first of all I just wanna apologize for the unexpected hiatus. I've been super stressed from AP tests and such so yeah. But I got a small burst of writing motivation and so I decided to post this chapter.
> 
> Next I wanna say that there's gonna be a little more of this Klunk arc and then it's back into the memes. Also I'm not quite sure when I'll end this but I know how it's gonna end. I gotta figure out the life things and what balance of writing I need in it. I also have a couple other fics in the working if that's a thing people would want.
> 
> Finally! You all make me feel so good with the comments and support. It means the world to me and is the reason I decided to take a little time to post today. Thanks so much everyone!


	16. hance to da max

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final part to this hance scene. Then more horrible memes and crap.

Lance had done a lot of crazy things in his life. He's broken 5 ribs, streaked through the living room when his sisters friends were sitting there watching a movie, and decided to study far away from home where he knew no one. But this, might've been the craziest. 

 

Here he was, in Hunk’s room, on the floor, straddling Hunk while they made out. Lance’s hands couldn't decide where to be, and kept wandering from Hunks face to chest to hair. It was all sweet, innocent kisses that made Lance feel warm and safe. He pulled up for a second to cherish to moment. His eyes drifted to Hunk’s soft smile, strong arms, the sliver of a cute chubby tummy peeking out from his shirt. It was, in Lance’s humble opinion, super hot. Which caused  _ another  _ feeling to happen. 

 

Hunk’s eyes widened as he felt Lance’s excitement. Lance quickly got off of Hunk and grabbed a pillow from the bed to set on his lap. 

 

“Hunk I'm so sorry. You're just- and this is- and ugh.”

 

Hunk, completely red faced,  scrunched his eyebrows together and said “Um it's ok….. just a little awkward.”

 

Lance nodded and sighed. “I'm sorry. I'm sure you're grossed out by me now.”

 

“No!” Hunk grabbed Lance’s hand. “It's just funny to me. Like you got that into me?”

 

“Of course! You're so fun and make me happy and-”

 

Lance was cut off by lips on his own. They were reassuring and he leaned in for more. 

 

“Hunk! Dinners read- oh” Joan yelled while opening the door. “I'll just leave…” she quickly left, closing the door behind her. The two boys sat speechless, inches away from each other. 

 

“Fuck!” Lance yelled. “Now they're gonna kick me out and ugh”

 

Hunk laughed. “It’s not that bad. At least she didn’t see you literally on top of me.”

 

Lance covered his very red face, mumbling fuck over and over.

 

“Here let’s go down to dinner. I’m sure they won’t say anything.” Hunk said, then kissed Lance on the cheek. 

 

Dinner went by as normal, except for the odd look between Joan and Sylvia. The food was phenomenal, and made Lance miss his own mom’s cooking. After dinner Lance helped Hunk wash dishes. They joked and kissed with soapy hands. After a while they noticed Emma and Talia watching them, which caused Hunk to chase after them. It reminded Lance of home, and seemed nearly perfect. There was one thing missing. Keith. 

 

That night, after Lance unpacked his stuff and settled in, he and Hunk found themselves making out again. Again, it was soft and sweet. The whole scene was perfect, except that there was no Keith. No Keith to flirt and bicker with. No Keith to shamelessly give hickeys. No Keith to assure everything was fine. 

 

“Lance what's wrong?” 

 

The Cuban teen looked up, “Uh, nothing?” 

 

Hunk frowned. “I know that's a lie. What's going on?”

 

Lance sighed. “I wish Keith were here. As amazing and wonderful as today has been, I want my boyfriend here too.”

 

“I know what you mean. I kinda like Keith too…”

 

Lance brightened at that, “Oh my god we can all the boyfriends! Like together!”

 

Hunk laughed. “We can’t just make decisions for him.”

 

“You’re right,” Lance pulled out his phone and grinned. “Let’s call him!”

 

 

 

A few minutes later they were on the phone with Keith, explaining the situation.

 

“You want to be three boyfriends?” 

 

Lance grinned. “Yeah! If you’re ok with it,” the cuban teen took Hunk’s hand and asqueezed it. 

 

A sigh came from the other end and finally, “Yeah, sure. I’m just not sure how all this will work… I mean you two are already with each other and I’m so far away.”

 

“It will be like before,” Hunk said, “We text and call and rabb.it and stuff. Someday we’ll all meet up for sure.”

 

“Promise?” Keith said.

 

Lance and Hunk looked at each other, “Promise.”

 

 

 

The next few days were filled with holding hands, kissing, and cuddling between Hunk and Lance. They cooked together and binged all of Pokemon Indigo League. When the week was over and Lance had to return, it was a painful part, but they knew they’d see each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I'm so sorry I've been busy and also really not feeling this scene. I'm ready for the memes and trash. Also I have an ending in mind so   
>  just be aware that's coming. I also am gonna post a Klunk soulmate au that I just finished and I think it's ok? Also SO SO SO SORRY FOR HOW BADLY THE ENDING IS WRITTEN I WAS TOO LAZY TO MAKE IT ANY GOOD.  
> And shoutout to armomthecatisgreat for giving me push to post the next chapter. Thanks!!!


	17. Lancey gorl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance makes some identity discoveries, more shiro matt pidge goofs and allura is a god among men

**Mermaid prince:** Hey guys?

 

**Mermaid prince:** Is it weird that I sorta feel like not completely a guy?

 

**Traitor:** you mean at the same time as feeling male?

 

**Mermaid prince:** yes?

 

**Berry gay:** babe we can help u figure out ur gender if u want?

 

**Mermaid prince:** Sure? Idk what any of this means

 

**Traitor:** do you feel like partially a guy?

 

**Mermaid prince:** Well yeah, but also…

 

**Mermaid prince:** Keith is gay so idk if he’ll like me if I say it…

 

**Berry gay:** lance i am so in love with u. wutever gender u r wont change anything

 

**Mermaid prince:** You love me?

 

**Berry gay:** so so much

 

**Berry gay:** sorry 2 say over text…. In a groupchat

 

**Mermaid prince:** I literally dont care. I love you too!!!!

 

**Berry gay:** text cant even capture how happy i am rn

 

**Berry gay:** we gotta video chat later when im not at work

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Anyone else crying?

 

**Soccer mom:** yes

 

**Hunky:** Yes

 

**Mermaid prince:** Yeah…

 

**Traitor:** so now that we’ve established keith loves you no matter what lance can you continue that thought?

 

**Mermaid prince:** I feel feminine sometimes… like female I guess

 

**Traitor:** so are you saying you switch sometimes?

 

**Mermaid prince:** Not exactly. It’s more like I’m male and female but I feel more like one than the other sometimes….

 

**Deadly Goddess:** So maybe bigender? Like two genders at once?

 

**Mermaid prince:** Maybe? I’ll think about it more I guess

 

**Berry gay:** do u want us to use she her pronouns with u?

 

**Mermaid prince:** I’m not sure… can I just think about this for a bit?

 

**Soccer mom:** you can take as much time as you need. We’ll be right here to support you

 

**Mermaid prince:** Thanks guys. This means a lot to me

 

**Traitor:** <3

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

**Soccer mom to Traitor**

 

**Soccer mom:** so i think matt feels mostly confusion

 

**Traitor:** YOU TOLD HIM?!

 

**Soccer mom:** he said “katie is the smartest person I know. how the hell did she not figure it out sooner?”

 

**Traitor:** tell him i was blinded by the shiro light

 

**Soccer mom:** im just hurt that he didnt think i was too smart

 

**Traitor:** ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**Soccer mom:** k a t i e 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

**Mermaid prince:** Ok so like I think I maybe might have sorta possibly kinda found my gender??????

 

**Berry gay:** u sure?

 

**Hunky:** Yay!!!! Lance I'm so happy for you <3

 

**Mermaid prince:** Keith stfu

 

**Deadly Goddess:** So what's the verdict?

 

**Mermaid prince:** I think I'm bigender? Like male and female?????

 

**Traitor:** *throws confetti*

 

**Hunky:** Sweetie I'm so happy that you've found this out!

 

**Soccer mom:** lance, owning who you are will make you a better person

 

**Mermaid prince:** Uhhhhh ok dad

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Lance I'm so happy for you!!!

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Also Shiro… 

 

**Deadly Goddess:** Take back the fatherly love a little

 

**Berry gay:** ya wtf dad

 

_ Deadly Goddess changed Soccer mom’s name to Wtf dad _

 

**Wtf dad:** allura why

 

**Traitor:** why not dad

 

**Deadly Goddess:** *dabs*

 

**Mermaid prince:** LEAVE

 

**Berry gay:** WHYYYYYY

 

_ Deadly Goddess changed name to Dabbing Queen _

 

**Dabbing Queen:** ;D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all are SOOOO wonderful!!!!! Writing this has been tough with some of the stuff I've been going through but it's so worth it when y'all comment and stuff. Seriously I appreciate every one of you so much.


	18. the gang makes a plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAH WHOOPS ABOUT EARLIER

**Hunky:** Did you know that partIcles observed act different than when they're not?

 

**Traitor:** yeah!!! iread that study too

 

**Hunky:** The universe is so crazy

 

**Traitor:** we humans invent so much and a lot of them aren't even real

 

**Wtf dad:** explain

 

**Traitor:** time, money, gender

 

**Hunky:** Romance, religion

 

**Berry gay:** it's 7pm. too early 4 this 

 

**Dabbing Queen:** It’s 2am here. Perfect time to be questioning everything. 

 

**Mermaid prince:** Allura do you ever sleep?

 

**Dabbing Queen:** I've adopted your sleeping schedules pretty much

 

**Hunky:** ALLURA NO

 

**Hunky:** Go to sleep now!!!

 

**Dabbing Queen:** Noooooooo

 

**Mermaid prince:** Honestly allura you need sleep for that lovely face

 

**Berry gay:** ^^^

 

 **Dabbing Queen:**  Thanks bbs <3

 

  
  
***  
  
  
  
  


**Traitor:** guys…… im kinda sad

 

**Hunky:** Oh no! How can I help???

 

**Wtf dad:** katie we're here for you

 

**Traitor:** i just wish I had friends

 

**Dabbing Queen:** Aww sweetie

 

**Mermaid prince:** PIDGE IM YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!

 

**Hunky:** Yeah same here!!! <3

 

**Traitor:** but like……..irl 

 

**Berry gay:** i get it

 

**Berry gay:** ur all so far

 

**Berry gay:** idk if ill ever see u all

 

**Dabbing Queen:** :(

 

**Mermaid prince:** Ok. What if we all meet up?

 

**Traitor:** how

 

**Mermaid prince:** Well…. uhhhhh

 

**Hunky:** I'm going to college in Boston next year

 

**Hunky:** Shiro lives there and pidges brother does too

 

**Hunky:** Lance (my sweet bab) is going to school in Vermont

 

**Berry gay:** ill be in montreal 

 

**Dabbing Queen:** AND I CAN TAKE A VACATION SO WE CAN ALL MEET UP ON THE EAST COAST

 

**Traitor:** holy shit

 

**Mermaid prince:** HUNK YOURE A GENIUS 

 

**Mermaid prince:** Also you're my sweet bab too :3

 

**Berry gay:** then i can kiss my bfs 

 

**Wtf dad:** what will we do when we meet up?

 

**Traitor:** duh we watch all the harry potters

 

**Hunky:** GENIUS

 

**Berrry gay:** this is amazing holy crap

 

**Mermaid prince:** I love you all so much I’m gonna tear up

  
**Traitor:** *hugs*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so earlier was me just k=not knowing what i had put out because it had been so long. I have been super busy but still love this fic and wanna keep it going a little longer. SO! I am writing more and stuff. Yall are so lovely and supportive. Also if you wanna join a place to discuss Harry Potter and is mostly LGBTQ peeps and allies I have a discord you can join! https://discord.gg/Z6t3YCH


	19. Let's talk about sex baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hehehe... Lance is adorable and Allura is sin

**Mermaid prince:** …..hey guys?

 

**Wtf dad:** yeah?

 

**Dabbing queen:** Yes bb?

 

**Mermaid prince:** Can we talk about sex?

 

**Dabbing queen:** YASSSSS

 

**Wtf dad:** ………..

 

**Wtf dad:** lance… im scared

 

**Mermaid prince:** Well I’m just worried about not being good enough for Keith when we meet up irl

 

**Mermaid prince:** I really love him and want him to have the best

 

**Wtf dad:** thats actually really sweet wow

 

**Dabbing Queen:** Oh dang I thought we were gonna talk kinks

 

**Dabbing Queen:** That’s seriously so adorable Lance

 

**Mermaid prince:** I guess I just want him safe and happy and like… a good wholesome time

 

**Wtf dad:** thats the most pure thing ive heard

 

**Dabbing Queen:** hes a lil vanilla bean

 

_ Dabbing Queen changed Mermaid prince’s nickname to Vanilla bean _

 

**Vanilla bean:** Awww thank you

 

**Vanilla bean:** Wait Allura are you kinky or something

 

**Dabbing Queen:** …..gotta blast

 

**Wtf dad:** noooooope 

 

**Wtf dad:** no escape

 

**Dabbing Queen:** Ok so like we should keep this sfw for the children

 

**Vanilla bean:** Allura what are those kinks???

 

**Dabbing Queen:** Ok so like….. Sometimes you know it’s fun to hurt people

 

**Wtf dad:** *spits out drink*

 

**Dabbing Queen:** Don’t act like you don’t beg for Matt to spank you

 

**Wtf dad:** 0_0

 

**Wtf dad:** damn

  
**Wtf dad:** you got me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all like this and don't unsubscribe lol. Thank you all for your wonderful comments and such! I was thinking of maybe making a discord for this fic but idk if that's something ppl would want.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope yall like it. I'm not really sure where it's going but oh well. Please comment if you like it?


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